Magnolia New Beginnings

A mother wrote to me: I’m giving up on prayer, I’m afraid. Recovery was going well, I thought. My son was making meetings, new job he likes, nice girlfriend. I was beginning to trust and hope. In the last week, money taken from my purse, relapse, violation of probation. Now it’s back to court and maybe prison this time. I can’t do this again.

My reflection: Fear is powerful. There were many times when my son was in active addiction that I, too, was in danger of giving up hope. Sometimes it felt easier to abandon hope and faith than to risk them being crushed, again.

Today’s Promise to consider: If we lose faith and hope, all is lost. We need to stay close to our children, while allowing them to fight their own battles. I will never give up hope that my child finds her way back home.

If You Love Me made it to the Best Addiction Books of All Time

I’m happy to announce that my book, “If You Love Me: A Mother’s Journey Through Her Daughter’s Opioid Addiction”, made it to BookAuthority’s Best Addiction Books of All Time:
https://bookauthority.org/books/best-addiction-books?t=o9vl5a&s=award&book=1250297346
BookAuthority collects and ranks the best books in the world, and it is a great honor to get this kind of recognition. Thank you for all your support!
The book is available for purchase on Amazon.

Photo @ Randy Mason

Dear Mothers,

When my youngest daughter was actively using heroin, the holidays were difficult. Mother’s Day was, by far, the prize winner. I spent the day dwelling on the possibility that I might never have a Mother’s Day with all of my children by my side; the reward for having dried oceans of tears, wiped noses and butts, and attended every type of game or performance imaginable. Having raised four children I found it impossible to enjoy the other three knowing that one of them may not be alive at that time next year.

I was not over reacting. I had watched the previous year as mother after mother lost her child. I went to funerals and hugged broken families and whispered the same meaningless expressions of sympathy, where no words suffice. Helpless to offer comfort for which there is no comfort. My own fears of possible loss reinforced.

A very wise woman who I look to like a mother now that my own is gone told me once, “You are only as happy as your most unhappy child.” It was painfully true.

So many years later I am blessed that I will spend time with my beautiful daughter and enjoy my other children. That fear of her not being here next year is all but gone, replaced by the normal fears of an ordinary mother who worries too much, making her text me when she goes home from my house, as well as the occasional fear of avalanches, alien abductions and myriad of other things that defy reality.  I look back and wish I had spent more time enjoying my other children over the years on this day because the truth of the matter is that, although when we exist in the hell of active addiction, our chances of loss are exponentially increased, we are not promised any more than the minute we exist in with anyone.

So, if you are lucky enough to have your children healthy, try not to spend too much time worrying about what might happen tomorrow. Live in this moment, even if just for today.

If your child is struggling or you are missing a child today for any reason and you have other children, remember that they didn’t ask for this any more than you did. Try to count your blessings rather than your heartaches. They need you and you need them.

If your only child is out there somewhere and you are living in the terror, a feeling I will never forget, try to take a few minutes and do something nice for yourself. For me that always meant a pint of Ben and Jerrys, but do what makes you happy.  You deserve it. Try to be hopeful too, because this time next year you might be, like me, celebrating with your child who looks a lot better than you ever dared to dream.

And for all of us, pick up the phone, text, email or send some flowers to the mother that has lost her child due to addiction or any other reason. Ask her if she wants to get out for a while. Don’t assume you know she wants to be alone. We never know what someone else needs. Ask!  Then be there. Listen to her stories if she wants to talk. Call her child by their name. The women that have paid the ultimate price, many of them mother to their own grandchildren, deserve a day to celebrate themselves and all that they have been through.

I carry you all in my heart. God bless and Happy Mother’s Day to us all.

– Maureen Cavanagh

Can They Help Recovering Addicts?

Michelle Peterson, Founder of Recoverypride.org

What is Music Therapy?
Music is powerful. It can change a person’s mood and provoke the best and worst memories. The power of music is so potent that therapists have found ways to use it in order to improve patients’ moods and relieve stress and anxiety. Music therapy can help address a number of cognitive, social, and emotional issues in people of all ages and backgrounds. It can involve listening to music, making music, and analyzing music as a way to explore emotions relating to an illness. Learning to play an instrument can help retrain the brain– something incredibly helpful for people struggling with mental illness or addiction.

Scientists and doctors began exploring the healing powers of music in the 1960s. Over the years, hospitals, clinics, schools, nursing homes, and substance abuse treatment centers began using music therapy as a way to help patients express difficult emotions in a nonverbal way. Music therapy can help with many kinds of emotional issues, including:

● Anxiety disorders
● Emotional and behavioral problems
● Depression
● Memory loss due to dementia
● Chronic pain
● Terminal illness acceptance
● Addiction recovery

What is Art Therapy?
Like music therapy, art therapy is a remedial activity used to address cognitive, social, and emotional issues. Creating art can help reduce stress while improving self-esteem and awareness. With the help of a professional, the patient then explores the underlying messages communicated through their art. This helps with the healing process as the patient works toward resolving their issues and managing their behaviors relating to their emotions.

Art therapy combines the therapist’s understanding of human development and psychological theories with the healing potential of art. It can be used in various therapies for individuals as well as couples, families, and communities. It’s used in mental health facilities, rehabilitation centers, hospitals, forensic institutions, community outreach programs, nursing homes, and corporate structures. Art therapy can help treat issues that include:

● Trauma recovery
● Anxiety disorders
● Depression and other mental disorders
● Cognitive problems
● Emotional difficulties
● Grief or loss treatment
● Addiction recovery

Addiction and Its Causes
Substance abuse and addiction affect millions of people all over the world. In the United States alone, one in every 10 people over the age of 12 are addicted to drugs or alcohol– that’s an estimated 23.5 million people. The causes of addiction are unclear. While general consensus categorizes addiction as a disease of the brain, some people see it as a condition that requires continued management throughout the addict’s life.

The disease model for addiction recognizes that while the substance abuse began as a voluntary action, after a certain amount of time, it causes changes in the brain that make it difficult to function normally without drugs or alcohol. Over time, substance abuse becomes less of a choice and more of an involuntary compulsion. On the other hand, the continued management theory promotes the idea that the addict is ultimately in control of their condition, and through behavioral changes, they can manage it.

Treating Addiction
There are various treatments for addiction, and no one option is right for everyone. To be effective, treatment should address all of the various issues that contribute to the addictive behaviors. To do this, many people choose multiple therapies to address their needs. Behavioral counseling is generally considered a good foundation for addiction treatment. On top of that, addicts can also use medication, medical applications like neurofeedback therapy, and alternative treatments including– you guessed it– music and art therapy.

If music therapy sounds appealing to you, consider learning to play a beginner-friendly instrument like the clarinet, which is often touted as one of the easiest options to learn to play. It’s helpful to do some research before investing in an instrument, and there are a variety of buying guides online that can help. If a visually creative venture sounds more appealing, consider purchasing a set of paint and brushes; there are countless free tutorials online via sites like YouTube that can help you brush up on some basic skills, or even teach you how to paint a particular project like a scenic landscape.

One of the things that makes both music and art therapy so effective is how enjoyable they are. Addiction treatment is rarely pleasurable. It involves a lot of emotional conflict and facing mistakes made in the past. By incorporating pleasant experiences like art and music into the treatment, the patient is more likely to stick with it. Long-term follow-up is crucial for recovery.

Music and art therapy use the creative process to tap into difficult emotions. Both treatments can help with the millions of people who suffer from addiction and substance abuse. While no one recovery treatment is best for everyone, using art and music therapy as a supplemental treatment for addiction helps with self-esteem and expression.

I resolve to take back the remnants of my life, and then it happens- in the shifting swiftness of everything, cyclone-like, pulling me into the center of the chaos without a chance to grasp on to myself- I plummet, head-first, all too often, into the lives of everyone, patching their open wounds with fragments of […]

via Letting Go — Magnolia Beginnings