A Mother’s Instinct

I try so hard to hide my pain, worry, and anxiety. It’s bottled up and shoved way done and hidden where no one can see. Like a double agent I go through life as if nothing is wrong, my life is wonderful and my family is healthy and strong. Sometimes I feel that weight  as it slowly eats away at me, that twinge of pain or heaviness as it tries so hard to break free. I know it’s not healthy to keep it inside but just like our children who have mastered the lie, I fear if I let it out for all to see the shame, stigma, and ridicule will be directed at me. This road that we travel is not for meek, it’s filled with much heartache and tortuous pain that devastates families and can drive you insane. Even when you find the strenght to finally bare your soul you never lose that small inner voice that always wants to speak, you can tune it out and ignore it and go on about your day, but you know in your heart it will always be there because a mother’s instinct is hear to stay.

About heidih45

I am a mom who has a 24 yr old son who has been addicted to drugs for 8 years but is currently in rehab. I use poetry as a release as I've learned you need to get those feelings out or they can be so destructive on your health. ♡♡♡
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to A Mother’s Instinct

  1. lldavisblog says:

    I just found out my daughter is an addict. I started a blog to talk about it. Thank you for sharing. I’m not ready for my real world to know.

    Liked by 1 person

    • heidih45 says:

      I am truly sorry, this is terrifying when it happens to our child. If you ever need to talk, I’m hear, you can always pm on fb, Heidi Houle. I will pray for your family ♡

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s